Prison Mike has not only mastered dodging soap-on-a-rope and beer cans at gigs, he exists simultaneously in an infinity of cell blocks. In one world, he's reviewing all the commissary products. In another, he's a witty teenaged license-plate stamper. He's even a Professor of Shank Theory somewhere or everywhere.

In our universe, he's co-pilot of the cargo van and Inmate of the Month every month. Maybe he thinks Joe Bon Joey will actually pay those bonuses in cigarettes.

We're building a time machine to send Prison Mike to a point in the future when he stops being Inmate of the Month so the rest of us have a chance.

Prison Mike materialized from thin air (or a laundry cart) to be perfect all the time and set unrealistic expectations for the rest of us. We might not be as nice, smart, cool, tall, or good, but we're figuring out ways to sabotage him and are open to all suggestions.